rAther it hAppened tO me
well, yesterday was a realy horrible day for my parents. for me as well. but then... im still young, guess i can take it... soak it all up.
dad has high-blood pressure, he aint young anymore... yes, he can handle many things as he has seen so many things in life, experienced in that sense. but when it comes to facing the parang right to the chest, for him or my uncle, i dont tink it is included in all those "experience" they hv had over the years. dad needs medication to control his high-blood pressure... so when these kinda horrible things happen, i realy hv got myself to worry about him. losing so much money in an instant is worrying as well... i mean, its money for business, so much of it at one time, gone, just like tat, wif the parang stuck to their faces.
heard dad's voice last nite. heard mom's voice last nite. it was... i dont know how to say it... it was full of stress, pressure, u know, the feeling of being confused & don't knw what u can do next. i was so busy myself, i couldnt help them.
if it was meant to happen, i'd rather it happen to me. well, atleast im young, i dont hv high-blood pressure, my veins wont burst anytime soon, i wont hv a heart attack anytime soon, i wont get stroke anytime too soon. so, being young is a good thing. i mite not hv handled the pressure that super well, but atleast, physically, i wont b risking myself to any of those above situations. well, i hv had my fair share of facing a parang right at my face. so, i know how it feels. yes, i admit, it has given me nitemares once or twice, but im ok.
anything that has happened to me, i can take it. but when it happens to pple close to me, i cant help but to feel angry & hope that it was me who has suffered instead of pple dear to me. once when me & mom were robbed, mom struggled wif the robber & tried her best not to let go of her handbag. the robber pulled till mom fell & hurt her self. what if mom fell into the drain (right beside was a drain)? what if she hit her head onto something? what if the robbers stabbed her wif the parang? what if a fatal accident happens? what if...? what if...? there were so many possibilities... i was so worried that if anything happened to mom... (lost of words)
so, now, it happened to dad & uncle. sometimes i jz wish i can bear the pain for them, bear the stress for them... bear all the worries that they r having now... i wish...
dad has high-blood pressure, he aint young anymore... yes, he can handle many things as he has seen so many things in life, experienced in that sense. but when it comes to facing the parang right to the chest, for him or my uncle, i dont tink it is included in all those "experience" they hv had over the years. dad needs medication to control his high-blood pressure... so when these kinda horrible things happen, i realy hv got myself to worry about him. losing so much money in an instant is worrying as well... i mean, its money for business, so much of it at one time, gone, just like tat, wif the parang stuck to their faces.
heard dad's voice last nite. heard mom's voice last nite. it was... i dont know how to say it... it was full of stress, pressure, u know, the feeling of being confused & don't knw what u can do next. i was so busy myself, i couldnt help them.
if it was meant to happen, i'd rather it happen to me. well, atleast im young, i dont hv high-blood pressure, my veins wont burst anytime soon, i wont hv a heart attack anytime soon, i wont get stroke anytime too soon. so, being young is a good thing. i mite not hv handled the pressure that super well, but atleast, physically, i wont b risking myself to any of those above situations. well, i hv had my fair share of facing a parang right at my face. so, i know how it feels. yes, i admit, it has given me nitemares once or twice, but im ok.
anything that has happened to me, i can take it. but when it happens to pple close to me, i cant help but to feel angry & hope that it was me who has suffered instead of pple dear to me. once when me & mom were robbed, mom struggled wif the robber & tried her best not to let go of her handbag. the robber pulled till mom fell & hurt her self. what if mom fell into the drain (right beside was a drain)? what if she hit her head onto something? what if the robbers stabbed her wif the parang? what if a fatal accident happens? what if...? what if...? there were so many possibilities... i was so worried that if anything happened to mom... (lost of words)
so, now, it happened to dad & uncle. sometimes i jz wish i can bear the pain for them, bear the stress for them... bear all the worries that they r having now... i wish...
posted by suki_jAy_lee at 10:45 AM
2 Comments:
it a common thing to feel,to hope for good things for ppl we love and let us bear the brunt.but sometimes things happened.n we feel hopeless because there's nothing we can do to help or change the hurt.but what we can do is be there to support them.and lend them our strength.i wish bad things won happen to you anymore, or to anyone i know and love.it sucks to know and yet to do nothin.
ur so right, mar. cant do anything... but oh well... support support support!
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